I would think again if I were you!
Typically, in any relationship, we generally seek to receive 100%. Rightfully so. I mean, who goes into any relationship expecting to receive anything less than 100%. We all believe we are worth receiving 100% so we therefore, expect it. Now, whether we are willing to give 100% is another topic. Let's be honest, we all expect more than we are willing to give at times.
Although we seek to receive the 100%, we are typically only going to receive about 80% of what we need from our partners in a good and healthy relationship and mainly if we are with the person we are destined to be with. If you are receiving that 80%, then obviously we are lacking 20%.
Consider this, if we are pursuing someone the best bet is to find someone who is as close to 100% of satisfying our needs. But, as stated earlier, most will max out at 80%. But what is important is that we get the best 80% possible of that person. Meaning, the 20% that we will lack needs to be something that we can live without.
Once we are in a relationship with that person, and the 20% starts nagging us as if it belongs in the 80% then it begins to look very appealing. Or, if we are in relationship and the 80% begin to decrease and drop down to 60%, 50%, 30% and so forth then again, the 20% begins to look very appealing.
If we decide to leave the 80 to pursue the 20 we are therefore putting ourselves in position to pull 80 out of a 20 which is essentially impossible!! Have you ever tried to purchase $80 worth of product with only $20? Exactly. So why do we do that when we are in relationships?
The end result will be regret. That is, if we decide to get rid of the 80 for the 20. Now, if you never had an 80 or 90 or so forth...then maybe we need to reconsider being in a relationship that we are not getting what we need. Just a thought.
Work at your 80%. If your partner is less than 80% of what you need, evaluate if the person is worth trying to get them to a point that you are comfortable with.
As always...Show Love!
There was a time when if a person was mad at their spouse they would go to their parents house to get away from the heat of the moment and possibly cool down. When they would get to the house, initially, the parents would be cool because they didn't know that the only reason their child was there was to escape their raging spouse at home. When that parent found out that they were fighting and their child wanted to stay at their parents home for the night, the next thing you would hear is "oh no baby you gotta home to your wife/husband! You married them, you better go home and work it out!"
We need those type of parents and love ones back in our society and we also need to become those type of parents and loved ones. What that taught us was to face our own issues and take responsibility for our own actions and decisions. Now, if the reason the spouse left home was for domestic violence reasons, then that is a different story-it's time to call the one number that rings everyone's phone and go whip some ass! But...if your friend, child, loved one or whomever comes crying to you all the time about how horrible their relationship is, send them back home with love, "Go fix it!" thus supporting longevity in their relationship. Also, there is no need to create issues in your home because someone doesn't want to face their responsibilities. Nowadays, people want to encourage the negativity. Being "petty" has become so common that we have forgotten the true essence of showing love and respect to others and their own business. Chyyyy- Mind yo own business and send them folk home!!! #ShowLove
Kindness is rare these days. Most people will not even say thank you for opening the door for them or even throw their hand up as a "thank you" sign when you allow them over in your lane on a busy interstate. These are acts of kindness. I always found it quite weird for people to show much appreciation when it comes to financial items versus the smaller acts of kindness, don't you? The fact that most people can vocally appreciate things that they are mostly in need of but pass by the things that people do not have to do is always mind-boggling.
However, if your heart speaks to you and tells you to do something kind for someone, do it. Putting yourself in a position to doing something that is kind for an act of kindness in return is setting yourself up. People should appreciate the kindness that we put forward, but if they chose not to, just keep being you. You can either make the decision to not be kind or be kind. The choice is yours.
For those who take people's kindness for granted, please take a moment to view your own actions and remember that people are giving you a piece of themselves that they don't have to.
Just like a trash can, people come and dump all their dirty diapers and disgusting leftovers and let’s not mention the unmentionables! There is green mold and fuzzy balls growing on the bottom of the trash can. The liquid that oozes out of the holes that are on the bottom of the over used can is either green, brown and if it’s really bad, black! If it is a house trash can, it begins to stink and it leaves a God-awful smell throughout the entire house. Sometimes, people can smell all of your trash before they step both feet inside. Then, that person no longer wants to be inside the house because the smell has overwhelmed their nostrils. Now, that is just your trash. But imagine for a second that that same person who came and complained about your trash and was nearly about to pass out, saw the lid to the can open and threw their trash inside of yours adding to the stench.
That is how it is when we allow people to throw their unnecessary drama, problems and issues in us. If someone deposits their negativity in you, whose fault is it truly? Is it theirs? Is it yours? The operative word here is ALLOW. We are passed the time and day where we allow others negative behavior to be deposited in us; especially when we have our own trash to discard.
Notice how easy it was for this person to come in someone else’s privacy and space and complain about their trash and yet have the audacity to deposit theirs in ours. I am sure if you ask the person that committed this action why they did such a thing, the first thing would probably be “The lid was open! It was easy access”.
Protect your intimate issues and problems yet work on cleaning them out. Sometimes we get accustomed to our stench that we don’t even know it until someone points it out to us. However, that is no reason for them to throw their mess in you. It grows bacteria-thus the smell=disappointments, let downs, heartache and confusion. When in the process of building your life, don’t allow others to put their mess in you. Make them take ownership and hold them accountable. Just make sure you are doing the same!
When you are in the course of courting someone or dating, there's information that they're going to leave out because they don't want to expose themselves and show you how vulnerable they are at this point. Try listening in at what they are NOT saying this will give you a bit of more insight to what type of person you are dating! #RelationshipCoach #Counselor #Author #ShowLove #marriage #divorce #dating #Share #helpsombody